Last Updated on May 2, 2022 by Chin Yi Xuan

To many, being alone seems to be a negative thing. In fact, there is something about being alone that people just seem to be uneasy to be in this state.

Maybe this 5-minute read can change your mind.

2018 has been a very special year for me. I’ve finally graduated from university, got a high-paying first job and I quit the job after 3 months.

Then, I spent most of my 2018 discovering myself and build a career around things that I am interested in or keen to explore. Most of the time during this period, I spent it with myself.

And guess what? 2018 is by far the most fulfilling period in my life, and here’re why:

(1) I’ve learned to truly love myself

All our life, we’ve been taught to give love and care to others. Naively, many of us have built our happiness on the belief that the more love and care we give, the more we will receive in return.

Hence, we felt pain, sad, anger and all other negative emotions when the love and care that we give to the others do not return with the similar ‘amount’ of love.

In short, many of us have, in one way or another, built our happiness around the people around us. We only felt loved when people love us back.

All our life, we’ve been taught how to show love and care to the others, yet we spent so little time to love the person within – ourselves.

Being alone, I’ve learned to love myself.

I’ve started to be comfortable on my own. I’ve brought myself out for dates and movies that I really want to experience. Finally, I have the time to read the books that I’ve always wanted to read.

For a long time in years, I’ve come to appreciate my own company, and be genuinely contented and happy while being in this state.

Genuine happiness should not come from any external factors – not even from the people closest to us. Rather, true, genuine happiness should come from within – ourselves.

(2) I’ve learned to be in peace with myself

All these time, I’ve been living a life trying to fulfill the norm of the society: Study hard, get good results, enter a good university, graduate with first-class honor and get a stable and possibly high-paying job.

In the instances where I was not able to fulfill some of these norms, I felt terribly bad about myself. I felt that I was not good enough.

Surprisingly, quitting my high-paying first job was a liberation for me.

Since then, I have all the time alone to meditate, write, read and take life on my own pace.

I’ve started to really accept myself for who I am with all my existing traits and flaws.

Being alone, I’ve come to be in peace with myself.

Always take some time off to reconnect with your inner-self. In life, we tend to stray away from our heart and intuition due to work and other external matters. Hence, some alone time will really help us recalibrate and heal.

(3) I’ve learned to trust and depend on my intuition

Being able to be in peace with myself is by far one of the best thing that have ever happened to me.

As such, it has given me the opportunity to consciously reach out to the deepest corner within myself and learn to trust the voice within – my intuition.

Many of the times in life, the answers and direction that we seek are already within ourselves. However, too many external voices are out there trying to tell us what is the right thing to do.

Being alone most of the time in 2018 has gave me a great opportunity to filter the external voices and follow my intuition.

By following my intuition, I’ve ventured into various interesting adventures that I’ve never thought of doing before.

Within this period, I’ve learned to trade the financial market, became a certified table tennis coach, joined Toastmasters to conquer my fear of public speaking and most importantly, started No Money Lah to inspire people around to live a more meaningful adulthood life.

Guess what? Thanks to my intuition, 2018 has the most fulfilling year in my life thus far.

Giving yourself occasional personal space helps tremendously in sharpening your intuition. Somehow deep within, you already have the answer to most of your questions. You just have to listen close (and deep) enough.

No Money Lah’s Verdict

At the beginning of this article, I’ve described my 2018 as ‘special’. Now that I give it a thought, 2018 has really been a year of conscious personal discovery for me.

It has always been a societal norm to regard being alone to be something negative, that if someone were to be alone, he/she is certainly having some issues (or a weirdo).

Ironically, a lot of the time, having the chance to be alone – to think, to read, to write, to meditate is just what people need to overcome miserable thoughts and rediscover themselves in life.

Have you been lost in a miserable path in life? Have you been overwhelmed by the waves of voices that tell you what ‘you should do’?

Perhaps it’s time to be alone and reconnect with the person within, don’t you agree?


Chin Yi Xuan

Hi there! I am Yi Xuan. I am a writer, personal finance & REIT enthusiast, and a developing trader with the goal to become a full-time funded trader. Every week, I write about my personal learnings & discovery about life, money, and the market.

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